Family Talk

GOALS: To help YFC members value their family as God’s special gift to them.
To encourage YFC members to take an active role in strengthening the family.

DYNAMICS:

1. Discern a speaker for this activity.
2. Prepare 1 to 2 sharers and brief them accordingly.
3. Open with worship.
4. After the talk and the sharers, give the guide question for reflection.
5. For the reflection song, have the music ministry play a song that can lead the group to reflect.
6. Ask the group to divide into households to share among each other with the reflection question as guide.


SUGGESTED SCHEDULE

Opening Worship 15 to 20 minutes
Talk Proper (with sharers) 30 to 40 minutes
Reflection 5 minutes
Sharing by households 30 to 40 minutes


TALK OUTLINE


Introduction
We may be very different from each other, the things we like and don’t like, our situations, opinions, etc. But one thing we all have in common is the family. We all came from families. Whatever family situation you are in, you still belong to a family. Even if your parents are separated, you still came from them.

The family has been known to make or break a person. In the U.S. 70 % of all juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. You see, whether we like it or not, the family has so much influence in our lives and in the lives of all those who will come in contact with us.

The Lord has a beautiful plan for the family. We should begin to take an active part in making our family what it should be.
I. The Family Situation

If we want to make our family life happy and complete and if we want our relationships within the family to work out, we should understand the situations that our families are in.

A. Limited time

The family is pressed for time. If you live until you’re 80 years old, you would spend only about 23 to 30 years of your life with your families. Out of those 23 to 30 years of your life, take out the time you spend:

- in school
- sleeping
- out with your friends
- on the phone
- etc

You see, when you add it all up, you really don’t have much time left. Remember that, the next time you waste your time whining, complaining or fighting with your parents or siblings just because you don’t get what you want.

B. Each family member is different from each other
Realize that each person in your family is different, each with their own preferences. You can’t expect them to know what you want or to understand why you want it.

C. Each family member has individual struggles
You may be going through difficulties in school, with your friends, with your boyfriends. But do you realize that your parents have their struggles, too? And that their struggles may be much bigger than yours? They could have trouble at work and that means trouble providing for you and your schooling. That means problems putting food on the table.

Rather than get angry that they don’t understand you, why not try thinking about them for a change?

D. No one chose to be in their family
We were all born into our family. We are in our family not by choice but by the will of God. So, each time we complain about our family or compare them with other people we tell God that He made a mistake.

As you can see, the family is in such a fragile state. There are so many factors that can shake the foundation.

II. The Key

Here’s a story that I feel can make my point clearer.

There was once a family on vacation that got into an accident and no one survived except their pet monkey. At the scene of the accident the police were interrogating their only witness --- the monkey.

They asked the monkey, “What were the children doing right before the accident?” The monkey made signs and gestures that they were fighting. Then they asked “What was the mother doing?” In signs and gestures again the monkey answered that she was nagging. They asked again, “And what was the father doing?” The monkey gestured that he was drinking. Lastly they asked, “So, what were you doing?”

The monkey said he was driving.

If we are dealing with the problems in our families with same amount of knowledge the monkey had about driving, we are bound for disaster. Many families are broken because troubled, imperfect, weak, and often-selfish people take it upon themselves to drive.

As we discussed earlier, with all the differences and individual struggles each family member has, all this makes the family so volatile, so easy to break.

We have to give God the wheel. He has to be real enough to us, so much so that we trust Him with our families. He has to be more than just the guy in our textbooks who parted the sea. He is so much more than that. He is real. He is our Savior. Let him take control.

A. Protect the unity
When our parents made a promise to be there for better or for worse, we were part of that promise. We should commit to be there for our parents and siblings, not just when things are good but especially when things go bad.

Christ alone can unite us like this because He loves us good or bad. Pray hard for the strength and the love to love your family unconditionally.

B. Trade everything for the joy of the Lord
Trade your anger. Trade your jealousy. Trade your complains and hurts. Your and your family’s imperfections can be made perfect through the love of Christ!

C. Lead other families to Christ
You should take it upon yourselves to lead other families to Christ. To be wounded healers. Even if you are going through difficulties with your family, you can be a source of inspiration to other people.

Don’t be a bad influence on your friends when they tell you about their problems with their parents. Instead of helping them indulge in their anger or resentment, pray for them and be there for them as strength.

III. Conclusion

Christ is the answer. You may have been looking for a way out or a solution. You don’t have to look farther or try so hard to run away. Christ is waiting to help you. He’s been waiting all your life. Let Him.

We are called the “Springtime Generation”. We are the generation that will live out this new millennium. This is our millennium. It is in this millennium that you will grow up, and raise your children in. It is in this millennium that you can make your mark. All these politicians, businessmen, economists, etc. have very little time left. You, on the other hand, have so much ahead of you. We can make or break this millennium.


IV. REFLECTION / DISCUSSION STARTERS

1. What is the Lord telling me through this talk?
2. What can I do to as a God’s servant, to strengthen my family?